I used to go to this “gay” gym all the time. I assumed every guy that worked out there was gay being that it was the hood for it. Every guy was smokin’ hot, buff, tan, and all checked each other out. The girls that went were basically non-existent to the eyes of these guys. However, one guy stood out to me. Perhaps being the fact that I saw him every.single.time I went to the gym. Now I didn’t go every day or at the same hours each time, but each time he was there. I couldn’t decide if I found him attractive or just liked the familiar face, but I felt compelled to talk to him. I never did however, because as mentioned I assumed he had to be gay like every other guy there. Although he didn’t seem to check all of the guys out like the others did. He just kept to himself.
A couple years later I joined a superficial dating app, and saw his face looking back at me. I was like, oh, wow, huh, guess he is straight? Whoa, haha, um, random? So of course I had to swipe right. We matched shortly after. Being the blunt girl I am, I cut straight to the facts:
Me: Do you go to that 24 hr fitness?
Him: Yes I workout at that gym.
Me: I have totally seen you there, a lot.
Him: Well, I want to meet you then!
Me: Well, I don’t currently live here, but when I come back I’ll see if you’re still on here. (Yes I joined in another city, came for a conference, checked out the local “talent” for no reason other than browsing, such a guy move, I know.)
A couple months pass and I decide to move back there.
I don’t initially join that app again, and instead have moved onto greener more committed pastures with a price tag to prove it. However, one night when the pickings were slim, and another guy IRL was disappointing me, I decided to rejoin. I’ll be the first to admit that the superficial apps provide some instant gratification as a self-esteem boost. But those guys don’t go anywhere except for a couple of lines of casual conversation.
Within a few min of swiping, his face appears. I naturally swipe right again. And yes, of course I was hoping he would still be on there. He didn’t really seem like the type I would usually be interested in, but as I’ve mentioned, I don’t know what my “type” is anymore. So why not?
He matches with me again, and seems excited that I decided to move back. We decide to talk via phone briefly, as that’s my rule, and he seems nice enough. I’ll have to say that the tone of his voice totally threw me off though. He did sound a little gay. Perhaps every day at that gym rubbed off on him a bit.
((The tone of a guy’s voice can be a deciding factor of whether I want to meet them IRL. If the voice is high and awkward and the conversation is any bit weird, then it’s a no go.))
After the call, I attempt to go back to his profile to save one of his pictures to add to his contact. It’s just something I do since I talk to so many people. I don’t want them to know I had to relook at their profile to remember what they look like, and adding their pic to the thumbnail image resolves that. However, when I go to our message box, his pic is removed. Apparently he had deleted his profile.
The thought crosses my mind: did he stay on hoping I would move back and rematch with him? Nooo…that couldn’t be. Must just be some weird coincidence.
Anyways, I agree to meet him in his hood. However, when the day comes I don’t feel well and ask if he will switch to my hood. He seems fine with that. We walk to a coffee shop, and he voices some concern that he will get a disease from the couch. I’m thinking, dude, chill, you’re fine. Besides that, he is awesome. Like, literally. We have all the same interests, and he doesn’t really drink. That is incredibly hard to find. I like being around him, and my mind starts to wander imagining all of the fun things we could do together with those similarities. He also tells me that during our shared gym days, we lived literally around the corner from one another. Yet, I didn’t know him.
After he drops me off, I feel that annoying giddy feeling arise, and want to be with him more. I almost can’t wait until I get to see him again. We text a bit, addressing some wants and needs. He seems like he might have some baggage, but since we share so many interests and he doesn’t drink I’m ok with it.
We text again the next night and he tries to confirm timing for our next hangout sesh. He is staying at a local hotel and we had discussed maybe hanging out there and doing “Hulu & Chill” not to be confused with “Netflix & Chill”, so that I could still work remotely and be plugged in. I realize shortly following that my gut is saying “no”to going to his hotel. So I tell him that I don’t actually feel comfortable with that plan. He makes sure to shove in my face 3x that that was my idea — even though it was a mutual proposal. I got it dude. He then says that my schedule is just a bit concerning for him, ya know because I’m not available 3 nights out of the 7 nights in a week. He feels I won’t have ample time to get to know him.
Um…we just met, how many times do you expect we should hang out each week? More than 1, 2?
He makes sure to repeat that he is looking for something real, and my schedule doesn’t seem to fit that. I don’t hear from him again.
I do ask my guy friend about the disappearing profile thing, and without even mentioning my thought, he says the same thing. So…isn’t it a little weird that a guy would hang on that long to give up so quickly?
Suffice it to say, I got my hopes up on a familiar stranger who seemed too good to be true. I thought the circumstances were small world-like and that that should count for something…maybe a fairy tale ending. All the awhile allowing myself to ignore some red flags because he liked some cool things and didn’t drink. If a guy can change his mind THAT quickly after I say I don’t want to go to his hotel on the second meeting, then clearly he is full of shit. Even if a guy says numerous times that he isn’t looking for a hookup, he probably is.