Kismet or Not.

So I was casually slinging bars during a promo gig in SF. Upon walking back to the truck to replenish my stock, I go to the corner to cross the street, look up, and see a familiar looking face. At first glance, I didn’t recognize him but thought he might be cute. I’m always on the lookout for eye candy…boy crazy since daycare. But then upon second glance, I’m like, whoa he looks super familiar but I don’t know from where. At the same second glance he realizes he remembers me too.

I then proceed to walk over and give him a hug and exclaim, “I know you!” (A little forward even for me.)
He proceeds to say, “didn’t you move down south like a million years ago?”
I say, “yes, to san diego, but now I’m back up!”

We then cross the street together where I spend the next 30 seconds catching him up on my life…”I started a conscious dating app, it’s going well, we were just featured in a couple of cool publications, I’m living out of a suitcase and slinging health bars on the weekends…ya know total hustler and shit.”
He says, “wow that’s really cool..I guess you’re rubbing this in my face since we dated.”

I can’t remember his name. I have no idea how I know him. Or when I met him. All I know is that he is cute and I want to know him again. So once we reach the other side, I give him my number and tell him that we should get together and catch up.

I’m feeling a little giddy and totally thrown off, because for the life of me can’t remember how I know him. Like zero recollection. He texts me once I get to the truck and tells me his name and how random the run-in was. I agree.

I text my cousin, my go-to, and tell her what just went down…she is like, well maybe there is something there. I feel hopeful.

A couple of weeks pass, holidays go by, and we decide to hang out on a Friday. In this text to make a tentative plan he says something about hanging out with old “hot topic” friends, as if I’d know what he is referring to. I don’t have a clue. At this point, I’m like wtf because why would I know anything about hot topic…did I meet him at hot topic? When the eff did I last go to that store, in my middle school goth girl days? Um…

I tell my friend and she says, “lets google him!” I only have his first name and the city he lives in. I doubt google will be able to find the dude. Well, google apparently has its stalking skills down, because he comes up pretty quickly. We discover he works at a local hostel. We also find some other sites and we really start to question what he is doing with his life. My friend is like…”um…well I don’t think he is your type, but maybe he could be a friend?” I agree, but still feel intrigued to meet up with him to get to the bottom of this mystery. Plus, I keep getting this feeling like I want to know him again for some reason. I just can’t put my finger on it.

The Friday comes and I text him. He texts me back eventually, says something about how he is a douche and how I just have to be the unlucky one to experience it…and is flaking…and no worries if I don’t want to take a raincheck. He made sure to relay that text in a totally articulate way, but articulately nonchalant.  I’m a bit annoyed, because I can’t stand flaky people, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t really give a shit either way.

I ignore the text, and say, “how did we meet? I have no recollection.”
He says, “um, hot topic I think?”
I say, “um…I never worked there.”
He says, “I know! I worked there.”
I say, “uhh when did I go in there?? And what happened exactly?”
He says, “I don’t really remember except that we met at hot topic and then went on a date with caves in the Haight.”

It comes back that I must’ve gone in there when I bought my Thursday cd and the Led Zeppelin cd for my dad years ago. It’s very blurry, but I can just barely collect a memory of purchasing those cds and talking to the guy behind the counter. I have no idea if I gave him my number or what. And I must’ve invited him to my fav neighborhood dive in lower haight, the cave bar. I have no idea if we hooked up or why we stopped talking. He doesn’t know why we stopped talking either. I didn’t ask him about the other bit.

We exchange a couple more less than appealing words, me calling him out about being a flake. He texts me later on his way back from Oakland about which hood I live in, and when it’s not his, he says something about hoping it was going to be easy for him to meet up with me, but since it’s not he isn’t interested in meeting up.

At this point, I should just walk away because obviously he is a typical SF Mission guy who lacks ambition and just wants girls that come easy to him — but completely uninterested in making any effort whatsoever.

I still want to know the whole story though. And, again there is that plaguing feeling of wanting to know him because the whole situation is just so weird.


I talk to my girl friend the next night and tell her the sitch. She says, well, people are just kind of flaky here. Dating sucks. He doesn’t sound like your type, so just let it go and maybe you guys can meet up as friends at some point. Nothing more.
I agree that it makes sense.


The next day, he texts me and asks what I’m doing. At the time I was just…you guessed it…blogging. So I relay something super casual. He then asks if I’d like to grab a bite with him, he will pick me up, and has a plan. I say ok cool. I don’t care as much at this point. I’m over the mini-fantasy I had about him, and open to the friendship. But agree not to hold my breath about the plan later. I’ll admit I felt a little excited.


He proceeds to pick me up on time. In the car I come right out and ask him about our history, and he says that we met at hot topic, didn’t hook up, met up twice, and that he was juggling girls at the time and decided to go for the one more convenient for him. I would usually be like…um wtf. But since I had decided that he was just going to be a friend if that, I’m just like, “ok cool.” Even after the details of our past we’re laid out, I still couldn’t really remember any of it.

He takes me to an adorable Russian hole-in-the-wall in the Mission, which was amazingly perfect. He is as cute as I remember. But no, I can’t think that way, because he is not my type. We sit down and have a totally appropriate q&a session. He is very interesting, funny, quirky, good taste in music, seems cool, I like his vibe. He tells me his is a scorpio…classic…and 1 year older. At one point, he tells me to make him a mix cd of my fav jams. I admit I have no idea how to do that anymore on cds. But then I remember the cute note I had found in my cds while packing:

>>> 3 months back: While packing up my apt in san diego to move it into storage, I decide to go through my cds. I had like hundreds, and did I really need to continue to shlep them from home to home to home? Records are like so much cooler anyways. As I’m going through the empty cases, I find a notebook sheet folded up and a inside is a stick figure holding a heart balloon titled, “S., I want to date the crap out of you mix.” I had no idea who it was from. Like no memory. But it was totally adorable. I proceed to post it on IG & FB. And friends are like…wow that’s a great mix! I’m like duh, but who is the mystery person? I have no clue! That’s disappointing. <<<

So I remember this note for some reason at our dinner and say, “talk about mixes, when I was going through my old cds I found this adorable mix from some guy. It had such good tunes on it, but I have no idea who gave it to me. It was called, “S., I want to…”
He says, “date the crap out of you mix?”
I say, “Um…yes. Did you make it?? That doesn’t even make sense if we only met those two brief times.. here I’ll show you.”
He says, “no..I’ll draw out the stick person,  don’t show it to me yet.”
He asks the waitress for a pen and paper and proceeds to draw out the exact stick person holding the balloon. I show him the picture and yea, he made it. I’m literally speechless. This is rare.

Now I’m thinking, wtf Universe?? You have me run into this random familiar dude on a street corner. I literally have no idea how I met him 5 years ago, but I know something happened between us. I generally have a good memory, so this whole situation is just straight up bizarre. You give me hope, like it’s some weird kismet shit. Then you have this same dude seem pretty cool, and be the one who created the mix note I had just found before moving back up here, and been holding onto this whole entire time…again having no clue who the dude was. Now you have me hang out with him and he is cool, but not boyfriend material. Thanks?

Moral of the story: Breadcrumbs do not always lead to a fairy tale ending. Just because something seems like it’s meant to be, doesn’t in any way mean that it is meant to be. Kismet might be a thing, but not always with dating/love/romance. Sometimes weird syncronicities just happen, for no reason.


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